(tune: yellow rose of texas)
these words: greg champion

you’ve gone backwards in the Rugby
you’re no good at football
you never win at tennis
you can’t play sport at all

you bombed in The Olympics
you’re duds at Rugby League
you’ve only got one thing we don’t —
a Royal Family

you eat fish & chips for breakfast
you shower once a week
you speak with English accents
your country’s up the creek

you live on boiled carrots
and stodgy Yorkshire pud
you’ll never win The Ashes
because you are no good