© Greg Champion/Nigel Lawrence/Colin Buchanan
(Warner/Chappell Music Australia)

First released on the album Stand Back Australia

For Christmas I got lots of power tools and toys
grinders and sanders that make a lot of noise
now I can fix up anything, so professionally
and there’s only one thing stops me —

I can’t be stuffed, I can’t be stuffed!
When the going gets tough
you just gotta call their bluff
just say I don’t give a rats, and I can’t be stuffed

My partner’s reading magazines, gettin’ ideas in her head
she said that we could spice things up if we spent more time in bed
she’s using terms like g-spot, and the Tantric Art of Love
and I can see where all this is heading — and….

I went to work this morning, the boss walks up to me
she says “we’re sending you on your long service leave
on an all-expenses, take-no-prisoners, six-month holiday
and twelve months off, on full pay” — said…..

The plumbing’s cracked a gasket and the roof leaks like a sieve
the house has been condemned and we’ve got nowhere else to live
I should get a real life like everybody else
I should just wake up to myself — but…….