(it’s a joke, Joyce)

© Greg Champion
(Warner/Chappell Music Australia)

This version from the album Stand Back Australia

Last night I had the worst nightmare
we were playin’ in a Country band somewhere
and just as I was about to sing
a big scary gang of line-dancers walks in

They had their thumbs in their belts and matching shirts
they said “nobody move and you won’t get hurt”
they said “you better give in to our demands,
or we’re gonna have to shoot the band”

Chorus
And that’s why I love line-dancin’
I love line-dancin’
I really love line-dancin’
but line-dancers freak me out!

First they did a shimmy and a hitch and an Outback Honk
they did a Tush Push pivot and a two-step stomp
they did a Macarena with a forward sway
while one of them told us what to play

Then they did a back-heel cross-foot three step glide
and a raised knee shuffle with a dip to the side
they did the Cowgirls’ Hustle they jiggled and bopped
then blow me down, they did the old Bus Stop

Yeah they did a step back Buttermilk slow heel-toe
they did a Bronco Twist with a Cotton-Eyed Joe
we played Boot-Scootin’ Boogie with fear and dread
while one of them held a gun to our heads

CHORUS

So if you’re ever gonna dream about a Country Show
don’t let them Boot Scoot Hoodlums know
and if you smell line-dancers don’t stand still
pack up your P.A. and head for the hills!

CHORUS